I have not been able to decide, for years, whether I trust too little or most other people trust too much. I can’t count the number of times where I have been correct in mistrusting the people I surround myself with on their day-to-day dealings. Quite frankly, we all lie to each other all the time. It’s disgusting, really, that we aren’t willing to be honest when “I’m in a meeting” really means “I’m out with friends, and not you, buddy.” What good comes of a relationship based totally on farce?

We, especially in the West, seem to do this almost as second nature. We “make contacts” and “rub elbows” with each other and try to “move up the ladder” by negotiation. Our socialization has become just another machine that we work with. People are tools in our minds so much of the time, that we cannot comprehend their very emotional value. There becomes two people: the one we see, and the one we do not see. We’re trained from a young age that we are to hide part of ourselves in order to protect ourselves. Why? Because if we do not, the entirety of ourselves are tossed aside whenever we become useless to other individuals. This is why we separate the emotional from the outward self. (Please note, I’m not talking about emotional reactions. I’m referring the the emotional self – the inward thoughts and feelings that we all experience and, usually, hide.)

It seems strange (and, animalistic) for us to base so much of our lives on the outward expressions and judgments of other people. I mean, what deep meaning can we possibly derive from the fact that I have a really unsightly blemish on my nose today? And yet, we allow those small things to dictate parts of our decisions, whether we are conscious of it or not. I think that only by allowing our true (that is, full, complete, honest) selves to outshine our shells can we actually break free from our unfortunate instincts. I don’t expect many people to try, because we are, at heart, shallow, animalistic beings in an unhappy number of ways, but I hope that over time we can move towards a goal of honesty and trust in one another. Not only because it’s the right thing to do, but I’m quite frankly really, really tired of having to second-guess each and every thing people say to me because I cannot ever be certain that they’re being fully truthful with me. It’s quite time-consuming, and it makes me look like the jerk, when in reality I’m just observant.


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